Second visit to the VU

Hey everybody!
As quite a few of you knew (at least those who follow my blog) I did have my second visit to the VU yesterday (thursday 6 november at 1 o clock). This would be the FIRST talk with the psych assigned to me, and whom will me guiding me through this process from start to finish, and also the start of the actual diagnostic process.
From now on I will have a talk there every once a month, and after SIX talks me and my psych wil re-evaluate whether I need more time/talks or wether I'm ready for the Real Life Phase (the point where I will start to live as a guy OFFICIALLY, change my legal documents, and get on hormones).
From that point it will still take many months for my body to change, it happens faster than a biomales puberty, but it's also not like you turn into an adult man overnight, LOL!

Anyway, me and my parents arrived at the genderteam, I was less nervous than at the intake but still a bit shaky. Everybody was REALLY nice to me and very respectful of my feelings and such (like asking whether I wanted to be called by another name right away), except for the woman at the desk whom I had to report myself to. She looked pretty grumpy, and found it necassery to repeat my birthname to me. But I don't have much contact with her anyway, so I don't really care.
I quite like my psych. She's really nice and respectful towards me. I'll yet have to get to know her properly, but so far I feel like I'll be able to get along with her fine.

I had a good talk with her, and I'm curious what the other visits will bring. Regarless of all this positivity I also left with a bit of a sour aftertaste though, this has to do with my health insurance.
Because I wasn't out to my parents yet last january I couldn't change my "personal risk" to a lower sum (it's a dutch insurance thing. I can explain some other time if many people want to know, lol), which basically means I will have to pay the first three meetings entirely, instead of have a part refunded by my insurance.
I thought the costs for one visit would be around the 100/120 euro mark, but now I have gotten signals it might be quite a bit higher, like MUCH higher, and that I'd actually have to pay a sum close to 860 euros for these first three talks, which is... well... rather much...
The people whom I asked this to did not know the exact costs either, so it could be less... I sure hope so. And otherwise... well, nothing to be changed. I don't feel like it'd be fair to ask of my parents to pay all of that, but I hope IF it truly is this much we can split the costs. I really don't want money to block or delay my transition and process, and as long as I CAN afford it, I will pay, even if that means no more holidays with friends, no more fantasy fairs, no more new stuff, but of course I hope there is no need for such drastic measures, and needless to say it definitely worries me a bit.
I also feel rather sad I have to miss school a bunch of times. In high school I'd be happy about this, LOL, but now I'd even try to go to school anyway, even on the VU-days. (I either have class at midday or morning, so technically I DO have enough time. And I REALLY don't want to miss classes if I don't have to. I will have to miss a lot with the surgeries in the next years already)
I also found it harder to focus on school a bit after the visit, gladly that went away as soon as I actually was back AT school, and I was all back into the rythem again. Sometimes you forget you're trans because of all the other important things in your life, and sometimes you forget you still have a life outside of being trans, which basically just is a small aspect of "you", because sometimes... it just FEELS so big.

But generally I am still happy that my diagnostics finally could have been started. And no pain no gain right? Hah. If money is all it costs me to become who I am, what does that even matter? As long as I have enough, I am happy.
Some people are so poor, that all they have is money. You need money to live, but you have to remember it is a TOOL, not a purpose or a means. Without something meaningful to spend it on, money basically is a worthless number on some website called your "bank account", it's the things you do with it that matter!

Have a good day everybody!